CONFUSED:
-Says ‘My Husband lied to me and thinks I am Naive.

We keep a joint account and it was his idea which is not so much of a problem to me. What baffles me is that he likes to have 100% control over my income, when I need to buy stuffs for myself and the kids, he questions it. When I need to give my parents anything, he knows about it and 90% of the time every penny that goes to my people goes through his account just so that they think he is the one responsible for it and same to his family. My parents asked me once that why is everything coming from your husband and you are working? It bothers me a bit but that is how my husband wants it. My mother asked me for cash last Christmas but my husband declined saying there is no cash and that we already bought them xmas gift and why is she asking for money again.

I am very carefree when it comes to issues like this, he gives people cash at will. He forced me to withdraw 25% of my pension and put over half of it in his account. Out of my pension, he gave out 300k to his friend and I didnt complain but when my parents asks for stuffs he complains to the extent that he recently said they are liabilities. These are people who sent me to school for bsc and masters in UK, gave us 2k dollars when we had our kids. I make more money than him and will not complain. Sometimes he asks me to log into my bank account to see my transactions. He expects me to transfer every penny of my salary to our joint savings account after I take care of my portion of the bills. He is an advocate of telling the truth and transparency but yet I found him wanting.

Of recent he forgot his phone at home and I went through it. His friend asked to loan some cash which he did. When his friend was about to return the money, he asked his friend to use it to buy a tv for his mum in nigeria. Dont get me wrong, I will never ask him not to buy stuffs for his mum infact when his mum makes I demand, I push to ensure that he gets it for her because I believe every parent suffered on their kids and they need to reap the benefits. But he bought the tv and never mentioned it to me till now. I kept quiet like I didnt know. Of recent, his mum called and mentioned something about delivery of something to her house and I asked him about it, he lied to me and said it was their uncle who bought something for her. Immediately after that conversation, he deleted his whatsapp conversation with his friend not knowing that I already saw it.

I have been acting normally, we talk,gist have sex and all and I only think about it when I wake up in the middle of the night. I plan to talk to him about it this weekend but what concerns me is that why do people behave like this, how do I know he hasn’t been doing this in a long time while I am 100% truthful to him. He goes through my phone, checks my account and yet he is not sincere. I dont have any cash called mine because he enforces me to put everything in our joint account, even my pension was withdrawn and over half of it in his account and the while cash is gone. I cant go out to but something for myself without him approving it otherwise trouble.

Of recent my mum came visiting and I bought her powder and foundation of less than 30 dollars and when he saw it in my account, he complained saying that must I buy her stuffs each time we go out?

Am I being a good wife or am I just DUMB?

Please help.!