Valentine’s Day in Nigeria is not for the weak. Timelines are red and extra. Restaurants are fully booked and you can’t sit for too long because someone else might need the spot.

Prices have suddenly developed wings. Even people in “it’s complicated” or situationships are suddenly very hyper and complicated today.

But relax. True love is not a competition. It’s not a decathlon with glory at the end for the fittest. You don’t need to empty your account to prove your heart is full.

Having given safe advice, here’s how to spend smart and still be romantic:

1. Plan smart. Naija is not a rom-com set.

That roadside sunset walk you see in movies and plan to recreate is only cute in theory. Because today of all days, the “big boys,” “awon omo wobe” (the infamous pickpockets and phone snatchers) are also outside to show real love.

So, if you’re not in a gated community or a safe space, abeg choose sense over aesthetics. Romance is sweet, but safety is sweetest.

2. Create the vibe at home.

Light candles because… light sef no dey. Bring out your charged Bluetooth speaker, I said charged o. Play love songs and when the ads interrupt, dance to them too. Music doesn’t have to be uninterrupted to be intentional.

Premium subscription is not the same as premium connection.

3. Forget social media pressure and save yourself from depression.

Some people ordered their own gifts to oppress timelines. Some didn’t and are genuinely loved. Be happy for both, you’re not a hater. It’s just that right now, you’re just not financing vibes you can’t afford. Remember that comparison is very expensive, but peace is free.

4. Don’t impress yourself into debt.

In the wise words of Kizz Daniel “No go dey do pass yourself.” And if you do pass yourself, you’ll sweat profusely inside AC because the bill has landed and your life savings has vanished. Love is sweet. But you see installment payments for over 10 months? Not so much. And if you like, take a loan from those apps, then chew the sim card and fling it, they still have your NIN.

5. Spend wisely, gift intentionally.

She wants a money bouquet, we know. Just remind her not to trend before EFCC uses her to educate everybody about “naira abuse.” Lowkey, some of you are happy about that new law. Handwritten love notes are cute. Romantic and timeless. But let’s be honest, “notes” hit differently especially when they are fresh “mints.”

And please, “debt is not romantic” doesn’t mean buy him boxers and singlets for the 5th Valentine in a row. Sis, upgrade small. Treat your king properly.

The goal is joy, not poverty after passion. Love is sweet, but I’ll tell you for free that loans are not.

You don’t want your heart doing gbim gbim when your phone rings because you know who’s calling — loan apps. They will call you like you’re owing them from a previous life. Morning devotion. Afternoon reminder. Midnight check-in. No peace.

Even Segun or Esther your friend will be disappointed if you don’t keep your word.

At the end of the day, Valentine isn’t about who spent more or who posted first, it’s about connection, not consumption. Survive the madness together, dodge pickpockets, steal moments in the chaos of Lagos traffic, and still find time to laugh at the song ads interrupting your Bluetooth vibes.

The Feast of Saint Valentine is about the small gestures that make hearts swell and say “I see you,” not the receipts that make wallets cry. Romance should give butterflies, not blood pressure because a full heart beats an empty wallet.

Post if you want or not, but please create digital memories. They cost nothing, but they last forever. Okay loves, enjoy your love, plan smart, spend wisely, and remember “love doesn’t need to be loud to be felt.”
By Chioma Osuji
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