A tale made the rounds on social media, some weeks back. A young lady was said to have died from fatal injuries of a road accident. But her friends were alleging that what led to the accident was her heartbreak over the betrayal of another friend.
The friend was said to have gone squealing about her ‘’unclean past’’ to the husband, who raised hell. As expected, GIRL-FRIENDSHIP received serious knocks that very week with some people vowing to do away with friendship of ‘the girls’ for their sanity.
But it’s all futile if we have not realised that “friendships” isn’t the problem but VALUES of the persons. It becomes pertinent to redefine your values as you move ahead in life. This is because an active awareness of your values will naturally sanitise your space and even bring like minds your way.
I can’t stop preaching to us to STOP knocking down friendship with your fellow women. It’s so unhealthy that some of us even live it, unintentionally. Where you should show grace to your fellow women, your antenna of suspicion and rivalry is what goes up, instead.
All of us are busy gunning for happiness in life but we pay little attention to even the energies we entertain within us.
A comment I read then even says “that is why I don’t have friends. My husband is my friend and everything.” For real, sister!?
Do you realise how SUFFOCATING it becomes to a spouse when you heap ALL your emotional needs on them? No one person is cut out to meet your emotional needs.
Some of your needs will find their fulfillment through Friendship (with BOTH sexes). Spirituality. Vocation. Humanity. Children. Marriage/romantic involvement, etc. So, you need a life outside of being a wife!
A lot of these unhealthy sentiments we carry around are the reason people feel MURDEROUS when that one person they are overwhelming with their emotional needs miss a step.
I have been observing the friendship of the senior friends around me and I have this to say. The bane of girl-friendships of our era lies in our values. The problem is never friendship. Sometimes, life rewards us with our type. A celebrity’s status update made the rounds recently.
Something about “not taking them to the source of your bread” or so. I have yet to see a reputable “source of bread” that needs all that paranoia. I mean, all the WAHALA is never far from men with deep pockets. After months of being friends on WhatsApp, I visited a sister’s station and she hosted. My three-day stay with her was an eye opener.
Now, I understand better her routine of driving to Shoprite to buy even what she doesn’t really need. Loneliness is talking!
She said that she dreads girl-friendships, jealousy, gossips and fears for her life. So she tends to entertain the friendship of males more but a chance glance at the communication of one of those guys showed he referred to her as “she has money but she is old.” Yet, girl-, friendships remain the evil thing!
What values inform your friendships? Certain lifestyles are simply a DOG EAT DOG affair. And it fuels a lot of the paranoia flying around as carefulness. Limit the dust you touch. A questionable lifestyle is why most people are afraid of their own shadow and believe that everyone is jealous of them. Certain pursuit of materialism has not your happiness in mind. The scar is often a deep one. And it projects onto your relationships, negatively.
Begin this day to cultivate the future you can live with. Mind the bag you secure! Temper ambition with a concern for others and an honourable lifestyle. We will all leave it behind eventually!