Some Nigerians are reaping from the shutdown ordered by the Federal Government in response to the coronavirus pandemic. Marriages are being strengthened while family bonding has generally improved because spouses now have an opportunity to stay together for longer periods. Many men and women who hitherto enjoyed reveling at bars, beer joints, leisure places as well as parties now spend more time with their families. But not a few others are lamenting the pains that come with the lockdown, KUNLE AKINRINADE and NWANOSIKE ONU report.
Victor, Sade Olofinwuyi’s husband and insurance practitioner, does not joke with hanging out with his friends on Saturdays. His rendezvous with friends at a backstreet lounge somewhere in Ogba area of Ikeja, Lagos, had denied his family of bonding for years until the lockdown order by the federal government commenced on Monday.
According to Sade, since the stay at home commenced, her husband has been staying home with the family more than he had ever done; a development she said has endeared him more to her and their children, whose complaints about his absence from home on weekends he had always ignored.
She said: “The social distancing issue has really helped to strengthen family life and built stronger bonds among spouses and their families. I have a reason to attribute the relative joy that has returned to my home in the last few days to the stay-at-home order issued by the Lagos State Government.
“For example, my husband is a happy-go-lucky fellow. He is fond of hanging out with his friends most times on weekends, especially on Saturdays. They have a downtown lounge where they hook up, discuss football and indulge in drinking beer. But that has stopped now.
“Unlike before when he spent the better part of the weekend with his friends at their lounge, he stays indoors now and plays with our children. The result is that the bonding has brought him closer to me and our children, and this in turn has restored the vanished bliss in my 10-year-old marriage.”
A civil servant in the employ of Lagos State, Frederick Makinde, also explained that his wife now stays at home more than ever before. He explained that his wife, who was fond of attending social events, now spends more time at home with him and their children.
“My wife runs a grocery store in Ipodo Market in Ikeja. Hardly does a weekend pass without her having a function or two to attend. Her partying spirit had created a gulf in our marriage with occasional quarrels. But since the government’s directive that officers from Grade Level 1 to 12 should stay at home in a bid to contain the spread of coronavirus, she has been spending quality time at home.
“Before now, hardly would a month pass without her attending at least two parties organised by her friends and associates. But now, no one is throwing events or parties, hence, she stays home all the time and this has in no small measure helped us to bond well.
“Apart from that, she now appreciates that the money she spends on uniformed fabric popularly called aso ebi could be saved to take care of more important needs in her business and at home.
“Although no one prays for ill-health or outbreak of diseases, I wish that situations like this happen once in a while to mend homes and relationships that had suffered from inadequate bonding.”
A social worker with a non-governmental organisation at the vanguard of curbing domestic violence in Lagos, Ms Pamela Njoku, also lauded the shutdown over the pandemic.
She described the lockdown as ‘home mender’ because of its positive impact on her marriage, which she described as not too fantastic before now.
“For me, as painful as the lockdown might seem to people because of its effect on socio-economic activities in the country, it has helped me to mend my tempestuous home or marriage. It’s been a long time I had the opportunity of being with my family even on weekends because of the nature of my job which consumes my time even on weekends as I have to attend to issues affecting several people in the society.
“In effect, my husband had complained a lot about my usual absence from home and this had resulted in shouting match or altercations between us on several occasions. But the lockdown has brought me a reprieve and I am now very close to my family for the first time in several years.
“My husband too is very happy and he joked about it yesterday that he wished the lockdown continues so that I can be more available at home and bond more with him and our children.’’
A Facebook user, Adebayo Adetayo, shared a post which gained traction on Thursday wherein he promised to appreciate his wife better after finding the time to care for his daughter at home during the lockdown.
In the message posted on the popular social media platform, Adebayo apologised to his wife for not being there for her in the past. He said that he never knew the hardship his wife was going through to take care of their child because he was not always around.
He wrote: “After this isolation, I’ll appreciate my wife the more. Imagine my girl emptying a whole hair cream on herself and still coming to share me some in my sleep. This innocent woman (wife) has shouted ‘leave there!’ more than 30 times in five minutes, and I would just put on one yeye suit, go out and come back home expecting to eat the meal and still eat the maker of the meal.
“…Please let’s appreciate our wives the more. They go through a lot in our absence. These few days at home seems.
like I should faint; how much more someone who is always home to put things in place?
“I tender an unreserved apology to my wife for my previous gragra (grandstanding) and shakara. It’s not easy. Thank you COVID-19 for lessons taught.”
But women in Anambra have reservation about their husbands staying at home. Reason: their husbands no longer have money to sustain their families and are currently battling hunger.
Although Anambra is not among the high risk states and has not recorded any case of coronavirus, women in the state are not happy about their husbands staying at home without doing any tangible thing. They have raised the alarm that the coronavirus pandemic is causing hunger in their homes.
One of the celebrated vendors in Anambra State, Mrs Nancy Onyebuchi Maduagwuna, told The Nation that the situation has almost rendered her husband useless.
Although she commended the closure of schools and no-work order on workers in public and private establishments to prevent further spread of coronavirus, she said she was not happy about men staying at home without going out to fend for their families.
She said it is of no use to her if her husband stays at home, having sex without providing for the family.
According to her, her husband, a commercial driver, had spent a whopping N400,000 on his faulty vehicle whose engine recently knocked. She lamented that with the present situation, it would be difficult for her husband to recoup the money already spent in fixing the car.
She further lamented that the shutdown had affected the sale of newspapers and supplies to government officials and offices in Awka.
On the panic buying of food items, the vendor popularly called Nancy, told The Nation that they had no money to do that, adding that only the rich in the state do.
An expectant mother, Mrs Nkiru Ogbodo, described the situation as worse than the Ebola virus pandemic.
The mother of three, who works at a cyber café in Anambra State, told The Nation that the situation had become very painful for everyone in the state.
She said the closure of schools and offices, among others, came unexpectedly.
According to Mrs Ogbodo, “the masses are not buying anything because of money; only those who have the means are the ones making purchases of sundry items.
“Now, if you want to buy sanitisers, nose masks or washing buckets, their prices have skyrocketed.
“For example, masks sell between N300 and N500 in Anambra, while there are sanitizers costing more than N4,000.
“This is the time our governments at all levels should come out and lead us. If we all die, who will they rule over?